Post by Valhalla Erikson on Jan 8, 2024 22:23:26 GMT
Author's Note: This short story came to me when watching an episode of Justice League Unlimited when Superman and Batman was trying to interrogate a criminal. Superman has a go at it but said criminal proceeds to mock Superman and he didn't do anything in response. What if Superman decided to call his bluff? 
"Yeah, what are ya gonna do boyscout? Give me a wedgie?!" The dumb criminal smirked at Superman, who just raised an eyebrow at such a comment. The one thing that made him took pause was Batman's response at his comment. It wasn't the textbook 'Batman scowl' that he'd usually give criminals that he's known for. This look is the equivalent of a fathers shameful look after seeing his kid do something stupid.
Batman just sighed and shook his head back and fourth. Whatever will happen next is out of his hands. Then before he knew it he felt like he was strapped to a fighter jet going inhumanly fast. Then the next thing he knows he's in an frozen wasteland that consist of ice covered mountains. It took him a second to realize where he is and to notice he's nowhere close to dressing in an attire appropriate for this as he desperately hugs himself to keep warm.
"I don't know about you but quite a rush, am I right?" Superman smiled while patting the criminal on the back, treating the whole experience like two buds enjoying the scene that nature has provided. "IDK what is it about me that makes guys like you think I'd take you lightly? Maybe it's because I smile too much? Maybe I'm too sociable for my own good? Or maybe I wear bright colors."
He brush off the criminals shuddering, looking like an animal cornered with no way of escaping, before he continues. "If you hadn't said what you'd said I'd just let Batman handle the interrogation. But you just HAD to pick today to be simple didn't you? So why don't we start over. You tell me what I need to know and I won't leave you stranded here for a good 10 minutes. And in this environment 10 minutes would be hell."
He looks at the criminal in the eyes, and what the dumb dumb criminal saw in them made him come to the realization. He'd be better off dealing with Batman at this point.
"Now. I can tell if you're lying. So do me a favor. DON'T"
Meanwhile...
"I bet you he's pissing his pants right now" Robin(Damian) laughed while discussing the events with Red Hood over the intercom
"Oh we are so inviting him & Lois to thanksgiving dinner" Red Hood said before she bellowed in laughter.
"Language Robin, and I'll mark that on the calender" Batman said, he glanced up to see Superman returning with the crook. The moment they land Superman lets him go and the criminal just ran over to Batman and clung to him. "PLEASE! I'LL COOPERATE, JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!!"
"OK, I'm sending this to Spoiler & Batgirl, they're going to love this" Robin took a snapshot.
"A little cooperation goes a long way" Superman said with a smile
Author's Note: Just to know I'm certainly using my own version of the DCU. Which consist of a female Jason Todd but that's another story for another time.
The Superman I am basing this on is totally the Smallville version. So picture Smallville Clark/Superman doing this And if there's anything you don't want to do is you don't want to get on Superman's shit-list. Because he can get real. Even without killing ya. And when he gets real he can get pretty scary.
I originally wasn't planning on The Bat-Family being in this but what better way for Damian to be his usual charming self?
"Yeah, what are ya gonna do boyscout? Give me a wedgie?!" The dumb criminal smirked at Superman, who just raised an eyebrow at such a comment. The one thing that made him took pause was Batman's response at his comment. It wasn't the textbook 'Batman scowl' that he'd usually give criminals that he's known for. This look is the equivalent of a fathers shameful look after seeing his kid do something stupid.
Batman just sighed and shook his head back and fourth. Whatever will happen next is out of his hands. Then before he knew it he felt like he was strapped to a fighter jet going inhumanly fast. Then the next thing he knows he's in an frozen wasteland that consist of ice covered mountains. It took him a second to realize where he is and to notice he's nowhere close to dressing in an attire appropriate for this as he desperately hugs himself to keep warm.
"I don't know about you but quite a rush, am I right?" Superman smiled while patting the criminal on the back, treating the whole experience like two buds enjoying the scene that nature has provided. "IDK what is it about me that makes guys like you think I'd take you lightly? Maybe it's because I smile too much? Maybe I'm too sociable for my own good? Or maybe I wear bright colors."
He brush off the criminals shuddering, looking like an animal cornered with no way of escaping, before he continues. "If you hadn't said what you'd said I'd just let Batman handle the interrogation. But you just HAD to pick today to be simple didn't you? So why don't we start over. You tell me what I need to know and I won't leave you stranded here for a good 10 minutes. And in this environment 10 minutes would be hell."
He looks at the criminal in the eyes, and what the dumb dumb criminal saw in them made him come to the realization. He'd be better off dealing with Batman at this point.
"Now. I can tell if you're lying. So do me a favor. DON'T"
Meanwhile...
"I bet you he's pissing his pants right now" Robin(Damian) laughed while discussing the events with Red Hood over the intercom
"Oh we are so inviting him & Lois to thanksgiving dinner" Red Hood said before she bellowed in laughter.
"Language Robin, and I'll mark that on the calender" Batman said, he glanced up to see Superman returning with the crook. The moment they land Superman lets him go and the criminal just ran over to Batman and clung to him. "PLEASE! I'LL COOPERATE, JUST KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!!"
"OK, I'm sending this to Spoiler & Batgirl, they're going to love this" Robin took a snapshot.
"A little cooperation goes a long way" Superman said with a smile
Author's Note: Just to know I'm certainly using my own version of the DCU. Which consist of a female Jason Todd but that's another story for another time.
The Superman I am basing this on is totally the Smallville version. So picture Smallville Clark/Superman doing this
And if there's anything you don't want to do is you don't want to get on Superman's shit-list. Because he can get real. Even without killing ya. And when he gets real he can get pretty scary.I originally wasn't planning on The Bat-Family being in this but what better way for Damian to be his usual charming self?
